Mom Refusing All Responsibility of Ex Husband’s Kids Cheered: ‘Cut Him Off’

A woman’s boundary against taking on the parenting responsibilities of her ex-husband’s other children has received support on Reddit.
The post, made by u/Plus-Front-2690 has gone viral after she shared her frustrations about her ex-husband’s increasing expectations that she take care of his other three children, despite them not being her own. Since the post was published on August 19, it has received 11,000 upvotes and over 800 comments.
The original poster (OP), who shares two sons—11 and 12 years old—with her ex, wrote that the two divorced a decade ago. Despite the split, they worked out a co-parenting arrangement, with the father eventually gaining 50 percent custody of their children.
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However, as her ex-husband’s family grew—first with another child from a different relationship and then with two more children with his new wife—the demands on her time and resources grew too.
The OP began to notice that her ex was treating her as if she were a co-parent to all five of his children.
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She wrote that he began making requests that went beyond the scope of their original co-parenting agreement, like asking her to babysit his other children, share her sons’ clothes and school supplies with them and take them out for meals along with her own kids.
The final straw came when he criticized her for not buying enough school supplies for all five children.
“I told him we don’t have five children, we have two, the two I bought those for,” she wrote. “He told me that I know they don’t have a lot of money, and I cut him off and told him that still didn’t make his children my problem.”
The OP’s refusal to take on these responsibilities led to her ex accusing her of being “cold” and failing to contribute to the “community” needed to raise his children.
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The OP has received overwhelming support, with many users reassuring the her that she is not at fault.
One user, u/charmedphoenix39, offered practical steps to protect her sons’ belongings.
“I would label your kids’ items/clothes so he can’t take them and give them to the other kids. But keep standing your ground of only parenting your two kids; never give them the slightest inch, it’ll only be worse.”
Another user, u./Shichimi88, advised the OP to document her interactions with her ex-husband and even consider seeking full custody if he is unable to care for all his children: “Not your kids, not your problem,” they wrote.
Others, like u/Adventurous_Byte, couldn’t believe the OP would even question her actions.
“Good thing you dumped that freeloader a long time ago,” they wrote. “Maybe you can try and revert the decision about the 50 percent custody, if he clearly admits he doesn’t have the finances to take care of all five of his kids?”
Tammy Gold, a parenting coach and therapist, told Newsweek that unless there is a strong, honest bond between the OP and her non-biological children, it is unreasonable to expect her to take on a parenting role.
“Expecting the ex to co-parent children who are not theirs and who she doesn’t have to co-parent with is ridiculous,” Gold said. “It’s a boundary violation, but most of all, it’s not fair to the current biological children she has.”
Gold added that such an arrangement could be detrimental to the mother’s own children, given that her time and energy would be unfairly divided among all five kids, rather than her two sons.
She wrote that while maintaining a relationship with stepchildren can be beneficial in some cases, it should not come at the expense of her biological children’s well-being.
“There are times when the non-biological siblings stay co-parented by non-biological parents, because they are attached to the non-biological parents and siblings, and this continued co-parenting helps them thrive,” she said. “But to help a former ex is not a reason to do this, and not fair to her own kids who need her.”
In the end, the consensus on and offline seems to be that the OP was right to set boundaries and prioritize her own children.
Newsweek reached out to u/Plus-Front-2690 for comment via Reddit.